Which penalties can I get and how long do they last?

Q: Which penalties can I get and how long do they last?

Under the Official Rules and Case Book: Minor (two minutes): boarding, body contact, charging, cross-checking, delay of game, elbowing, high sticking, holding, hooking, illegal substitution, interference, slashing and tripping. Unsportsmanlike Conduct (two minutes, fully served): for example dissent or gestures toward officials, opponents or spectators, or throwing a stick into the bench or stands. Misconduct: obscene, profane or abusive language or gestures, or persisting in disputing an official's ruling. You are ejected from the game and a teammate serves an Unsportsmanlike Conduct penalty. Major (four minutes, fully served): a Minor infraction that is reckless or intentional and aggressive, rough play, or boarding, body contact, charging, cross-checking or elbowing with initial contact to the head or from behind. Match: for example fighting or intent to injure. You are ejected, suspended from the next game, and a teammate serves a Major penalty. Penalty time is actual playing time, served in the penalty bench, and you cannot be replaced while serving. A team can have at most two players serving penalties at once. A goal may cancel a Minor penalty when the team scored against has more penalized players than the scoring team. Fully served penalties are never cancelled by a goal.

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Accepted Answer

Under the Official Rules and Case Book:

Minor (two minutes): boarding, body contact, charging, cross-checking, delay of game, elbowing, high sticking, holding, hooking, illegal substitution, interference, slashing and tripping.
Unsportsmanlike Conduct (two minutes, fully served): for example dissent or gestures toward officials, opponents or spectators, or throwing a stick into the bench or stands.
Misconduct: obscene, profane or abusive language or gestures, or persisting in disputing an official's ruling. You are ejected from the game and a teammate serves an Unsportsmanlike Conduct penalty.
Major (four minutes, fully served): a Minor infraction that is reckless or intentional and aggressive, rough play, or boarding, body contact, charging, cross-checking or elbowing with initial contact to the head or from behind.
Match: for example fighting or intent to injure. You are ejected, suspended from the next game, and a teammate serves a Major penalty.

Penalty time is actual playing time, served in the penalty bench, and you cannot be replaced while serving. A team can have at most two players serving penalties at once. A goal may cancel a Minor penalty when the team scored against has more penalized players than the scoring team. Fully served penalties are never cancelled by a goal.